that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
