So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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