U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We need to get me chipped asap
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