Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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