So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize