So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
