I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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