even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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