look no pants
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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