Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
