took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Randomize
