we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
