You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize