I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
