TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet