Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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(908): But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes http://tfl.nu/c86w

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(206): View more from Washington

When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?

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(206): When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle? http://tfl.nu/8gva

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(754): View more from Florida

you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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(754): you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse http://tfl.nu/okem

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(860): View more from Connecticut

do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?

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(860): do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours? http://tfl.nu/hqbo

Replies (46) Good night (2866) Bad night (8412)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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(832): I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes. http://tfl.nu/wfe6

Replies (34) Good night (851) Bad night (4442)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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(919): CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us http://tfl.nu/dd67

Replies (80) Good night (3588) Bad night (4746)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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(757): I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/hl6i

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(425): View more from Washington

I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.

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(425): I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B. http://tfl.nu/2oen

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(916): View more from California

craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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(916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout

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(732): I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout http://tfl.nu/4dgw

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(917): View more from New York City

when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

(917): View more from New York City

Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

(347): View more from New York

he is a god among men.

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(917): when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment. (917): Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles. (347): he is a god among men. http://tfl.nu/gmep

Replies (52) Good night (7941) Bad night (1086)
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(334): View more from Alabama

We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

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(334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!" http://tfl.nu/8nad

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(423): View more from Tennessee

God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.

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(423): God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too. http://tfl.nu/jo5q

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(941): View more from Florida

I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.

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(941): I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night. http://tfl.nu/uguq

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(847): View more from Illinois

I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.

(219): View more from Indiana

My kitchen gets me.

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(847): I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs. (219): My kitchen gets me. http://tfl.nu/xud3

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