I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
