I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
