carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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