What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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