So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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