I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
