he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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