I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
