Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
