oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
