You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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