I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize