Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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