i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
