How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
