I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
only if we run a train.
done.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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