I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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