I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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