Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
