just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
