We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
