yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
