I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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