Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
