real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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