Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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