Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
