we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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