Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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