This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize