just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
