tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
