I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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