so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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