i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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