I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
