She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
