I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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