you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
