summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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