is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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