just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
