I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
where are my eyebrows?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
