$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize