He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
