I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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