Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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